Okay, it’s time to fess up about the fake DS Art-chaeology
video. This repetitive picture loop wasn’t part of any penny arcade machine, or
ancient stereoscopic device. It was just the sad result of a bad marketing decision.
DS Art-chaeology |
Back in the last century, I made the bold decision to
promote my artwork on the national stage. I had a dozen or so pictures, a
couple of which were selling well enough to bring in grocery money. A handful
of framing shops were interested in selling prints of my work, and suggested
that other art outlets might also be willing to give my pictures a try.
It sounded like a good plan, so I took their advice and
carried my prints to a national wholesale art and frame show, where thousands
of gallery owners from all over the country traveled to make their art
purchases for the coming year.
I knew I was taking a risk. An unknown artist could hardly
hope to gain the serious attention of art dealers in such a crowded venue,
especially with complicated black and white drawings (“Color captures, simple sells.”), and very little time to describe
the intricate designs and amusing puns.
The experiment met with some success, paid rent for a month
or two, but didn’t allow me to retire at an early age. Let’s call it a good
start, with lots of room for improvement.
What the project really needed was something that would grab
my customers right out of the aisle, capturing their attention and their
imaginations (and their wallets, too) – some new, incandescent graphic strategy that would
turn eyes and footsteps directly toward my display.
The answer? Video!
I would create a moving picture of my
static drawings – an animated version of my product catalog that would be
absolutely irresistible to art buyers everywhere.
I spent days working out a detailed storyboard, showing how
my drawings would appear in a precise sequence, one after the other, each expanding slowly to fill the video screen, each new picture growing out of a single component part
of the preceding composite image. Nothing like it had ever been shown at a
wholesale art show before. No small art producer had ever taken such a
courageous step. All I had to do now was save enough money to have the images
converted to an endless tape loop in a state-of-the-art television studio – an
expensive proposition in the 1990’s, but clearly worth the investment.
The whole package (video production, copies on VHS tape, and
a brand new combination TV/videocassette recorder-player) set me back about
three grand. For a single dad trying to get an art business off the ground,
that was real money. (Come to think of it, that’s still real money.)
The new VCR was the ideal addition to my trade show exhibit:
a portable television and cassette port, all in one compact unit, with
automatic rewind built right in. Just place it on the table, plug it in, and
I'd be ready to go.
The best part of the TV/VCR combo was the color – or lack of it. In a dramatic
departure from the ubiquitous black plastic television casing, this unit was
completely white! This sculptured
snow-white cube would fit seamlessly into my art display, just another
paper-looking background with my work showing on the front. Only this time my
drawings would be moving, unfolding
in an endless, ever-changing design.
I couldn't wait to unveil it at the show.
I was all ready with my sales pitch: “Your customers will be just as intrigued as you are! One complex image
born from the one before, in an ever-changing montage of shapes and subjects!”
My booth would be jammed with buyers. Print sales would skyrocket. I would be
smothered with demands for the video - art dealers would need one copy for
themselves, and one for each of their stores. (Autographed, of course.) This
was going to be AWESOME.
What could possibly
go wrong? (Did I mention that I bought a white
television?)
Turns out, white TV screens weren’t so rare after all.. In
those days, we called them computers.
This solitary oversight completely unraveled my ingenious
marketing plan. And it didn't take long to find out, either. Halfway through
the booth set-up process, before the show even opened, a fellow vendor stopped
by to see how my business was going. The videotape was already rolling, and
instantly captured his attention.
“How about that!” he exclaimed. “All this time I thought you
drew these pictures by hand. But look- you’ve
been doing ‘em on a computer!”
Everyone who saw my expensive, innovative display came to exactly the same conclusion. Sales plummeted. After that dismal debut, my State-of-the-DS
Art VHS video loop disappeared onto a shelf for a decade and a half.
By the time it was re-discovered, the original tape was
showing its age, and video technology had changed so much that took six different
processes to translate the data into a usable format: VHS to digital camera
to DVD to HDTV to iMovie to YouTube.
The quality of the resulting vid was far less than we had
hoped, but under the circumstances, this was the best that we could do. Ironically, the technical imperfections made our hi-tech video look an awful lot like an old
celluloid film projection – so we went with the new theme, added some sound
effects, and the rest is … history.
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